Celebrating Life

My granddad (Gigi) passed away this Wednesday.

He was an extraordinary leader in his family and his community. The Atlanta Journal Constitution asked to write a short article on his life and accomplishments.

While it gives a run-down of all his accomplishments, it is too short to describe all he left his family and me with. I have fond memories of him coming to my second grade class to help teach us about human anatomy. He was just as engaging, and funny, to children as he was to the adults he taught. He had a wonderful, dry wit that my family has always appreciated.

Most of the time he showed us his love by spending time with us, and teaching us things about the world: fishing, landscape, billiards, etc. Every now and then he would write us a card or a letter that expressed to us just how proud he was of us, and how much he loved us. These letters have become so sweet, and important.

In his last few years of life he was confined to a wheelchair in a nursing home. He hated being apart from his wife, though she visited him every single day. He never lost his wit, his love for his wife and family, his knowledge of medicine, or his love and knowledge of God. The article says he had a mind like a magnet, and that doesn't even begin to describe how much he remembered! Often when I would visit he would see a mole on my hand, or hear me with a small cold, and diagnose exactly what was wrong with me. Would give me the medical term, explain what it meant for me, and tell me what type of doctor (and recommend a colleague in the field he respected) I should see (if it would be required). He also quoted scripture, expressed love for God, prayed every day, and sung hymns to pass the time. His hearing declined in these years, and so conversations became shorter and less involved. He always continued a game from our youth, where he would act like he forgot who one of us grandchildren were. The "forgotten" would alternate each time, but it always made us smile. He would say something like, "I remember this beautiful young lady (me) but I don't recognize this snaggle-tooth boy (my brother)." Winking, of course.

As I've grown, I've appreciated his role in our family more and more. The idea that 'my grandkids will know the same God as me, because my children will know the same God' has gained ever increasing importance for me and my husband. We not only want to raise our children to follow God, but we also want to raise them to raise their children to follow God. That is exactly what my grandfather did. My husband and I are so grateful for that legacy, and pray that God can continue it through us.

The only thing I wish were different, were that my husband could have met him in his prime. (I didn't meet my husband till after Gigi was in the nursing home). My husband was able to meet with him a few times while he was in the nursing home, but at that point it was too difficult for my granddad to get to know anyone new. Most visits became more about being there than speaking, since he couldn't hear much of anything and saw great disappointment in trying. One day while we were there, my husband wanted to get to know him as well as he could and got him to recall fond memories of fishing. After a while of sitting outside with him, he looked at my husband and said, "You're new here," we all smiled and chuckled a bit thinking he was cracking a joke, but he continued, "...but I want you to know that you are welcome." He later jokingly asked him if he was sure he wanted to join this crazy family.

His declaration of acceptance will probably resonate with us forever. I don't know if he knew it meant a lot to us, but it did. It's hard to explain exactly how thankful I was for his words, but when someone has left such a wonderful legacy as his, his acceptance and welcoming of our marriage is so important to us. For a few years, as he declined, it felt as if he was slowly fading from our lives. But for that moment he showed us he was still accepting his role as head of our family, even from his wheelchair. We couldn't have been more humbled. I saw him for the last time about a week before he died. But this is the visit (a few months before he died) I felt like he got to see me and my husband for one last time.